I was probably violating her privacy. And I am not sure where to draw the line.
That's right. There is no need to dump private stuff on a public forum. My idea was to help you to find things which do or can bring her up, and keep her there. If you know the answers -- you can use them to her benefits. You do not have to limit your interactions to conversations only. Sitting silently for hours is not quite effective IMHO. I would try to get her involved in any kind of activity or conversation which she is comfortable doing or talking about, which she can do with great confidence (or even pleasure and joy, if she can). Arguing IMHO is Ok also, you can argue in a way which would help building her self-confidence
Let her escalate and push. Lets say right now, if she manages to get a job, she will mostly be on the path to becoming alright
Agreed. And I think it would be better if she were confident in handling job-related interactions with other people. It matters for her recovery, how friendly or competitive the environment would be at the new job. IMHO having a job in hostile environment may harm her. So, pick jobs wisely And for her to get a job, I need to get her to speak well, speak with a positive note, speak confidently,
As a training I'd ask her to tell about her job experience or project she is most proud of. Or about the kind of job she enjoys the most, about successfull projects, etc. If she has confidence and positivity (and she does) she'll sound confident and positive.